DEFCON ARRRGH: The Great New Mexico Pirate-Viking Invasion is Upon Us!

PIRATE & VIKING INVASION: Yes, you read that right. Pirates have officially been spotted sloshing along the Pecos River near Cowles. Even worse? Security reports indicate they’re joining forces with a roving horde of Vikings. Their target? Edgewood, NM.

Panic? Perhaps. Confusion? Absolutely.

The rumor mill has been churning for months, though locals initially brushed off the threats due to the summer drought. But according to one anonymous local historian:

“These people have learned to adapt. They can sail in a teacup of water.”

Indeed, the Vikings were originally seen rowing up the Rio Grande two months ago until local irrigation ditches left them stranded high and dry. Undeterred, they spread out, found flowing water near Socorro (where a terrified, trembling witness took a very blurry image with their flip phone), and somehow managed to share their shallow-water sailing tech with the Pirates.

The Pirate sighting was 100-percent confirmed when one of the scurvy dogs posted a selfie of himself on social media. The large contingent in the background raising concern all the way up New Mexico’s governmental ladder.

Now, the burning questions face every resident and visitor:

• Are they friends or foes?
• Is this a hostile takeover?
• If a Pirate drinks out of a Viking’s horn cup, does he instantly turn into a Norseman? (Science is still out on this one.)

How to Survive the Invasion: Blend In or Perish

Modern tactical experts agree on one thing: Resistance is futile. The safest way to protect yourself and your family is to pick a side, dress the part, and blend in. Face it, walking off the plank in Edgewood is going to hurt.

Before you step out, you must master the dialect so you aren’t outed as a landlubber:

• If you choose the Viking path: Practice your toast. It’s written “Skål”, but pronounced like “Skol” or “Skoal”. Do not slip up, or you’ll be assigned to shield-polishing duty.
• If you choose the Pirate’s life: Roll your Rs until your jaw aches. Every fifth word in a sentence must be “Arggghhhh!”, and always stretch “Mate” into a long, drawn-out “Mateyyyyy.”

Where to Seek Refuge (or Join the Party)

Rather than fighting the inevitable, surrender to the fun at the official staging ground for this historic alliance!

The 7th Annual Pirate Viking Summer Festival

• When: Saturday, August 22 & Sunday, August 23, 2026
• Hours: 10:00 AM – 6:00 PM (Both Days)
• Location: Wildlife West Nature Park | 87 N. Frontage Rd, Edgewood, NM 87015
• Admission: Kids 17 & under get in FREE with an adult! (Plus, free parking on site so you don’t have to park your longship on the highway).

What to Expect at the Coalition Camp:

• 5 Stages of Entertainment: Live music, belly dancing, side-splitting comedy, and dazzling fire shows.
• Interactive History & Crafts: Costumed historical stops and unique craft vendors.
• Ration Stations: Feast at delicious food booths and quench your thirst with local meaderies and craft brews.

Best of all? Proceeds from your “surrender” directly benefit the Wildlife West Nature Park & Sanctuary Zoo.

Pick your side, sharpen your cutlass or polish your horn, and we’ll see you in Edgewood before the teacup fleet sets sail!

Need More Infromation

Official Website: piratevikingsummerfestival.com

Facebook Page: facebook.com/PirateVikingSummerFestival

Tickets & VIP Info: piratevikingsummerfestival.com/lead-collection

Vendor & Contact Inquiries: vendor@NMRenCeltFest.com